Dear South New Jersey
(aka New South Philly)
Please learn how to drive.
I know you were able to afford your new McMansion on top of your sacred mountain of
underground garbage and therefore feel so entitled to drive 10 mph, dead center, down
a street designed for TWO cars (maybe 3 if you really want to chance it and you’re on
Walnut Street)
But what the fuck assholes, seriously?
Furthermore STOP PARKING IN MY FUCKING SPOT SO
YOU CAN SEE THE FUCKING SPORTS GAMES. PAY FOR PARKING YOU CHEAP MOTHER FUCKERS.
Stop pulling over into my drive way so you can get pretzels from the pretzel factory,
while your at it, and I’m tired of trying to avoid taking off your side view mirror so
get closer to the curb you asshats.
Dear New York Drivers (all of you)
So your state, city, whatever is in every movie. Who gives a shit. So 911 happened there.
ok! But for God fucking sakes when you are on I-95 please go the fucking speed limit, at
LEAST. I don’t need your slow ass merging into the left lane (with people flying at 80+mph)
at 45 mph. (Krsna, I’m talking about the 676 / Del Ave entrance. YOu know what I’m
talking about.
I dont give a fuck about your BMW or your yankess so fucking MOVE.
Dear Maryland Drivers,
Use a fucking turn signal you hicks.
Dear Delaware Drivers,
People live in Delaware?
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Pretzel factory is good.
u need 2 stop being so jealous it looks terrible on u.
You gals sound like you need to work something out. How about my house for wine and mud wrasslin? Then afterwards you can both clean up in my shower. Make sure you get everywhere really clean, cause I’ll be performing an inspection! Bad hygene is a no no at Unkle Jim’s house.
Rape Barn!
Wow, I can post without even being on here!
Yes. Let’s see if anybody else figures out the game.
Dear Geek,
I want to hike up your skirt and bend you over a church pew after one of your wedding gigs. Furthermore, I would like to have tibor and chitownoi each suckle on one of my testicles as I pump you from benind. I would also like for krsna to lick my butthole simultaneously.
When can we set this up?