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Let’s face it. I’m a convenient socialist/anarchist. I apply the tenets of these disciplines whenever it’s convenient. To me. Like when I’m not shopping for hiking gear at REI. Or when I’m not trying to get a good deal on a slightly used headsail for my boat. Or when I don’t need 64 Odwalla bars (don’t ask). Still, I avoid WalMart, look for green alternatives, only set foot in Home Depot when Mom and Pop can’t get me what I need NOW TODAY.  In short, I only patronize big corporate America when necessary. And convenient. Because let’s face it, Modells doesn’t cut it if I need a pair of Merrell trail runners. Or parts for a Coleman F1 isobutane stove.

Today I read in the Wall Street Journal (yeah I know what you’re thinking, “Who helps you with the big words?”) that at least 9 CEOs are going to be pinkslipped because they failed to properly manage and grow the corporations that are paid obscene amounts of money to run. Qwest, Lehman Bros., GM, CBS, Sirius, SUN Microsystems, Yahoo! and Crocs will all be under new top management by the end of FY08.  Most of these companies mean nothing to me. I have a Yahoo mail account (hint hint Krapsna), I have two Sirius radios and I keep up with SUN because I was once a Solaris Admin. Back in the days of the SPARC20. When Admins still wore pocket protectors and short-sleeved shirts with ties. Outside of that I don’t really care. Fuck ‘em all. Take Walgreens and Tao Bell with you and go pound sand.

My main bitch here is Crocs. How can you possibly fuck that up? It’s a craze that has swept America from coast to coast and back again. Most people I know own a pair or two. They make them in white so nurses can wear them. They make them in black without ventilation so they can be worn in non-industrial applications (or to funerals). They’re replaced fishermans’ sandals as the footwear of choice among the hordes of unwashed hippie friends who frequent my doorstep. They’re cheap (as shoes go) light and no shoe is more comfortable. Not even my old Converse Allstars (sorry Chuck Taylor, Chinese manufacturing has completely fucked up your arch support). I own two pair. One, a cheap $2 knockoff from a Family Dollar store in WV, for lounging around the house and the other pair are Crocs Offroads, which I use for fording streams while hiking. Two and a half years ago when I bought my first pair (still going strong, thanks) everyone said “ZOMG those are the ugliest things, I’ll never wear them!” but everyone in my household now has at least one pair (and the person who said that has TWO!). So again I ask, “How does one fuck up a seemingly endless fad?

Crocs (CROX) This company was king of the specialty shoe business through much of 2006 and 2007. Revenue from 2005 to 2006 more than doubled and then more than doubled again in 2007. Crocs restated its first quarter earnings, but Wall St. did not seem to mind that as much as the results themselves. They were poor enough that JP Morgan cut back its earnings estimate for the company. Revenue for the period was fine, up almost 40% to $199 million. Crocs lost $6 million and both gross margins and core expenses both moved the wrong way. Guidance was for  Crocs to grow at about 15% in Q2 and for the full-year. Then CROX hit the market with a pre-announcment of Q2 numbers. It cut its revenue estimate for the quarter by over $25 million to $220 million. Its forecast for the balance of the year also moved down. Short interest in the stock is remarkably high and at the most recent measurement was 40% of the float.

Management at Crocs never took the company beyond its niche shoe business and investors have paid for that. The stock has a 52-week high of $75.21 and now trades at $4.96 after its earnings warning. Crocs, which had significant brand equity, was never able to build on this foundation to weather the stagnation of its original shoe business. CEO Ron Snyder needs to step down and be replaced with someone who has the kind of branding background that built Nike (KNE).

So what were they supposed to move out of the “niche shoe business” and into? Yeah, sure, croc burgers sound good but I’d bet they are light and soft yet far too chewy. Maybe they could recycle leftover foam into tank treads for the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Crocs released three or four slip on style shoes for women earlier this year (saw them at Hudson Trail Outfitters)  and a retro flip-flop style shoe also for women. BUt no big moves forward for men. Know why? BECAUSE WE’RE MEN! We want something comfy to wear while we go to 7-11 to buy a SlimJim and a Hustler or to drag the recycling bin full of empty Yuengling bottles to the curb on Thursday morning. If I wanted to have to choose between the shoes I wear I’d go back to an office environment where every morning at 6am I’d stare into my closet and say “Hmmm… Stacy Adams wingtips, black pennyloafers or patent leather Corfams… Hmmm…”

They’re fucking glorified slippers. What are you supposed to do with them? Leave Ron Snyder alone, Dammit!

And no, Krapsna, this is not about my foot fetish.

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